Category Archives: Tom Golden

Janice Fiamengo, male friendships, Men's Issues, misandry, Tom Golden, Video

Male Friendships

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Tom and Janice discuss the path of male friendships and the many changes over the last hundred and fifty years. They focus on what has recently been making male friendships more difficult and some ideas about what men are doing about it. The media stresses the need for men to have relationships while simultaneously telling men that they need to be more like women to find relationship success. This sums up the misandrist attitudes that fail to recognize men’s unique ways of relating and the fact that a man’s close friendships are significantly different from a woman.

Boys, mental heatlh, Relational Aggression, Tom Golden, Video

Gaining Status – Men Are Good Shorts

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feel good!, Tom Golden

Gratfulness

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#8 Gratefulness and Feeling Good




Happy Thanksgiving!

There is a saying that negative thoughts are like Velcro.  They stick in the brain and linger.  Positive thoughts are more like Teflon.  We think them and then they disappear.  They don’t stick around very long they slide and decay rapidly.

One antidote for this has been studied by positive psychologists who have found that the act of being grateful can counteract this dilemma.  In fact they have found that gratefulness has a lasting impact, not just hours or days but months.  They have also found that it impacts not only negative thoughts but also depression. Gratefulness improves immune function, increases stress resistance, and improves ones sense of self worth.  It also has been shown to increase our enjoyment of the present moment! This is huge and tells us that we all need to be working on cultivating our own gratefulness.
 

TRY THIS

Write a letter to someone you know that you feel deserves your thanks and appreciation that you have yet to express.  Let them know in the letter how grateful you are for what they have done.  Send it and watch what it does to you.  For a bonus, scientists have found that if you read the letter to the person aloud the impact is even greater.

It might be a friend, a family member, a coach for your children’s sports or whoever you feel grateful to.  

Give it a try and be ready to feel better!

Feeling Good in a Red Pill World, Men's Issues, Tom Golden

Feeling Good in a Red Pill World! #4 First Time Is Best!

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Can you remember your first day at work?  What you did, who you met, what you saw?  Okay how about day two or day three? Chances are you don’t remember quite as much about those days.  Why not?  One of the basic rules of the psyche is that when we do something for the first time our awareness gets stronger.  Basically, we pay more attention.  When we pay more attention we are usually more alive in the present moment.  Because we are more alive in the present moment we tend to remember more of what was happening

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Feeling Good in a Red Pill World, Tom Golden

Feeling Good in a Red Pill World #3 Being in the Moment is Child’s Play

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#3  Being in the Moment is Child’s Play!

  • Have you ever watched a 1 or 2 year old carefully?  What do they do?  It’s pretty simple, they experience.  Unencumbered by the rigid adult belief system, the cascade of shoulds and shouldn’ts, or the numerous adult defenses they move from one thing to the next and simply experience whatever they are doing.  Sometimes they lick things, sometimes they touch and feel, other times they just ambulate from one spot to another but no matter what they are doing they are involved in the moment.

    Most of us can’t imagine what it would be like to have such a focus on our present moment.  We are often too busy with our persistent thoughts going one way and then another or preoccupied with our fears or regrets.  What can we do?

    TRY THIS

    Find a 1-3 year old and follow them around. It could be a relatives’s child or maybe your own.  Do whatever they do no matter what.  Do it for five minutes and see what happens.  I can just about guarantee that you will be laughing and of course as a later post will say, laughter is a great way to be in the moment.  Be sure that you are not the responsible party for the child’s safety. Yes, you both get a babysitter!

    Have fun!

feel good!, Feeling Good in a Red Pill World, Tom Golden

Feeling Good! #4 First Time Is Best!

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Feeling Good! #4 First Time Is Best!

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Can you remember your first day at work?  What you did, who you met, what you saw?  Okay how about day two or day three? Chances are you don’t remember quite as much about those days.  Why not?  One of the basic rules of the psyche is that when we do something for the first time our awareness gets stronger.  Basically, we pay more attention.  When we pay more attention we are usually more alive in the present moment.  Because we are more alive in the present moment we tend to remember more of what was happening

I bet you can think back to many instances where you did something for the first time.  All sorts of memories are likely to pop up about the first time we did something.  I would also bet that some of those will make you smile when you remember.  

So if we are more aware the first time we do something, and this puts us more in the present tense, how can we use this to our advantage?

TRY THIS

Do something for the first time and be aware of your consciousness as you are doing this.  It might be going to a new restaurant that offers a type of food you have never had.  It might be taking a ride in the car to an unfamiliar area and on roads you have never used before.  It might be  trying a sport you have never played or experimenting with an unfamiliar musical instrument.  Whatever you do, see what impact the first time might have on your awareness and your feeling good!