Stop Shaming Men on December 6

More than three decades after the Montreal Massacre, the anniversary of the shootings remains the occasion for alarmist claims about violence against women and the ritual shaming of men. Such shaming may be satisfying to anti-male ideologues, but it does nothing to prevent future violence and should cease immediately.  

On December 6, 1989, 25-year-old Marc Lépine (born Gamil Gharbi) shot to death 14 women at the Engineering School of the University of Montreal, injuring 10 other women and 4 men. He left a suicide note explaining his rage against feminists, who, he claimed,  “always try to misrepresent [men] every time they can.” He also appended a list of particular women he would like to have killed if he’d had time. 

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A Requiem for Manhood

By Paul Nathanson


Yesterday was a fine spring day. On my way out for the afternoon, I saw some yellow tulips shyly lifting their heads to the sky and the first bright and feathery leaves unfolding on branches. And yet I spent the afternoon indoors at a movie. It’s about the decline of manhood and therefore should be of great interest to everyone who cares about men. Here’s a synopsis of The Rider (Chloé Zhao, 2018).

Its setting is a Lakota reservation in the “badlands” of North Dakota. Brady is a beautiful young man, who loves horses and can’t imagine a life without caring for them and riding them. He lives in poverty with his retarded younger sister and widowed father. But Brady has a big problem, Continue reading A Requiem for Manhood


#8 Gratefulness and Feeling Good

Happy Thanksgiving!

There is a saying that negative thoughts are like Velcro.  They stick in the brain and linger.  Positive thoughts are more like Teflon.  We think them and then they disappear.  They don’t stick around very long they slide and decay rapidly.

One antidote for this has been studied by positive psychologists who have found that the act of being grateful can counteract this dilemma.  In fact they have found that gratefulness has a lasting impact, not just hours or days but months.  They have also found that it impacts not only negative thoughts but also depression. Gratefulness improves immune function, increases stress resistance, and improves ones sense of self worth.  It also has been shown to increase our enjoyment of the present moment! This is huge and tells us that we all need to be working on cultivating our own gratefulness.


Write a letter to someone you know that you feel deserves your thanks and appreciation that you have yet to express.  Let them know in the letter how grateful you are for what they have done.  Send it and watch what it does to you.  For a bonus, scientists have found that if you read the letter to the person aloud the impact is even greater.

It might be a friend, a family member, a coach for your children’s sports or whoever you feel grateful to.  

Give it a try and be ready to feel better!

Boy Crisis Excerpt – Boundary Enforcement

1. Boundary Enforcement (Versus Boundary Setting)

Moms often ask me, “Why is it that when I speak, nothing happens, but when their dad speaks, the kids drop everything and obey? Is it his deeper voice?” It makes moms feel disrespected and taken for granted. But it’s not dad’s deeper voice. Dads who don’t enforce boundaries are also ignored.

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